My parody of a stupid internet thing.
Professor: As a person associated with intellect and reason, I want to spend my hour of lecture time making fun of a student who believes in God, since everyone knows that’s what professors do.
Student: I staunchly believe in God! Watch as I eloquently and calmly present my opinion while you fumble with your words and lose your temper, putting the audience immediately on my side!
Professor: How is that fair?! …or anything like an actual classroom setting? I’m going to bring up all of the weakest arguments for nonbelief, making it extremely easy for you to counter them and make me sound like an ass.
Student: At this point, I get a very long and complex monologue about the futility of your argument. Yes, I understand that there’s been no build up for your outburst or for this conversation at all, making it almost unreadable. But for the sake of me being easy to sympathize with, we’re gonna have you barrage me with anger and insults out of absolutely nowhere. And don’t you dare think of a well-thought-out conterpoint! I know that in the real world, there’s plently of things you can say to derail my entire belief system, but for the purposes of this short, we need you to be helpless, stupid, and angry.
Professor: What? No!
Student: How can you believe we came from monkeys?
Professor: How is that gross untruth what you believe evolution to be? Have you ever…read a book? Or anything?
Student: Empirical evidence is moot. FAITH is what makes the world go round.
Professor: That’s not even close to what actually makes the world go round. So you actually haven’t ever read a book, then?
(CLASS IS IN AN UPROAR, PRESUMABLY BECAUSE THEY’RE ON THEIR LAPTOPS WATCHING YOUTUBE.)
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Since I am a presumptuous asshole, I believe you have enjoyed this conversation. Do you know other humans who beleive everything they read simply because they read it? Pass this on to promote STUPIDITY as well as A LOVE FOR SHITTY STORIES THAT ARE POORLY WRITTEN AND ENTIRELY FABRICATED.
By the way, the student was Jesus Christ.
Also, the professor was a large unicorn by the name of Skytasm Orgasmica.
Good day, sirs!
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aravenwritingdesk reblogged this from nippl-e and added:
love Nicky. Based...asinine anecdote...idiots on this earth...
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